The whole time this post has been brewing in my head, I’ve had this mental image of sitting down having coffee w/ my second cousin, Peggy. Weird, because I’ve never sat down and had coffee w/ Peggy. And Peggy and I don’t live close to each other. But that’s just how my brain works.
And it probably means I should check in on her.
So I mentioned in the last post that we’ve had some hiccups w/ Yuan Li’s adoption. It’s almost comical. Those of you that are parents- did you ever say, “We won’t do that.” “We won’t be those parents.” “Our kids won’t do that.” before you had kids? Jon and I did all the time. Go ahead and laugh. Some of those things we’ve followed through w/. And some of those things…. Yep. Our adoption of Yuan Li’s been like that for me. In my head I couldn’t think of any reason why this adoption shouldn’t be textbook. Which is stupid, because we’ve never done anything in a normal fashion our entire marriage.
The typical process of an adoptions goes something like: fill out application w/ your prospective adoption agency, be approved in a couple of days, sign contract w/ agency, paperwork out the wazoo, wait on being matched w/ a child, people doing paperwork, more waiting, more paperwork, yada yada yada, the government says you can travel, you book your tickets, maybe you throw up, you go meet your kid, more paperwork, appointment, appointment, paperwork, appointment, kid gets cleared, you travel back home, you experience the “airport party” that you’ll vaguely remember because you’ve only slept 4 full hours in the last 2 days, go home, begin your new normal- whatever that is.
Well, we’re “normal” in the sense neither of us have been arrested before, we know who we’re adopting already, and because he’s older and “special needs” he should be fast tracked. All these things should make a 2-4 year process turn into a 4 month process in my head. *If you happen to be a fellow adoptive parent reading this, please pick up on the sarcasm I’m laying down. I promise I’m not quite that dense.* So we fill out the application, I send it in. I tell our caseworker to be looking for it. Great, we should be approved in a couple of days. I hear back 2 days after she receives the application, looks good, but she’s got a couple of questions. Okay, no problem.
Question 1, breeze through. Check.
Question 2, “You answered that you’ve taken an anti-depression drug before.” “Yes. After I had my daughter I went on it for a few months.” “Shouldn’t be a problem, but you’re going to have to apply for a waiver before we can approve your application.” She explained what that would look like.
I was totally calm on the phone. In my head all I could think was “Well, sh**.”
I had to get a letter from the doctor who prescribed the medication. And the fun part- I HAD TO HAVE A PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION. I’m a mom of two 2 year olds and I’m going to be asked if I’m ever tired, sad, or angry. Ask me if I was nervous. Actually, Jon did ask me and I told him I was fine about it. I lied.
I began calling psychologists in town trying to get an appointment that fits w/in a window of time we were allotted. Only one even came close and it was going to be tight. I made the appointment and the doctor’s assistant was super sweet and understanding. She told me she would let me know if there were any cancellations and she would try to get me in earlier. She was true to her word and she called the next week, but I couldn’t make that appointment. She called again several days later and I took the appointment. Never mind that it was the end of the month, pay day wasn’t for several days, and I needed to come up w/ over $700 in 12 hours.
But just like always, my God made sure the provision was there. And in true we’re-adopting-but-have-no-money-to-adopt fashion, He brought people out of the woodwork to partner w/ us. I know it’s really easy to bag on Facebook, but when it comes to networking, you can’t beat it.
Commercial break: Yuan Li, I’m going to sit you down at the computer in a few years and show you where all these posts are. You’re going to get to read stories of all the people who championed for you. And you’re not going to be able to deny that God loves you and has orchestrated your life beautifully. We get to have you as our son, but you’re part of a much bigger story than just you, just our family, and just your adoption.
The psych eval went smoothly. It was LONG, but I really liked the doc I ended up seeing and felt extremely validated by him. Maybe I’m not crazy after all. But the report’s being written, so I guess the jury’s still out.
If we come to mind, will you pray along w/ us that the Chinese government will be quick in granting us our waiver? At this point in our process we can’t even get information on Yuan Li so the more time that passes, the more disconnected I/we feel from him. The kids are asking about him less and less and that’s weird to me. Adoption is a unique kind of Refiner’s fire, it seems.
Of, through, and to Him…